Don’t Make Me Make This Face!
Are you a single man and dating in yours 30s or 40s? Then I’ll let you in on a little secret: It’s time to step up your game if you are dating women over the age of 30. Why? Because women have higher expectations as they get older.
- In college, a woman will be impressed if a man has a car.
- In her 20s, a woman won’t care if a guy has roommates.
- In her 20s, a woman won’t care if you wear college t-shirts.
But in her 30s? A woman will have higher standards. As she’s grown in her career and has stepped up her game, she will expect the same of you. Things that didn’t bother her while dating in her 20s will suddenly be a huge turn off in her 30s. Don’t miss the opportunity to date a great woman because you are unaware of these turn-offs! These are subtle turn offs. Read on to discover six unexpected turns offs for women in their 30s.
6 Turns Offs for Women (Dating Tips for Men Dating In Their 30s and 40s)
1. You Don’t Own a Car
Unless you live in New York City or San Francisco (or a city where most people use public transportation), you need to own a car.
Is this shallow? Absolutely. But it's the truth. I get it. You may be a consultant and travel five days a week. It may be more economical to NOT own a car. But if you are dating a woman in her 30s and she owns a car, she’ll expect you to have a car. It’s unattractive to a woman if you always use an Uber to pick her up for a date.
Real life dating example: A friend of mine liked this guy, Sam. He had a good job and he was polite and attractive. They went hiking on a date and she drove because the guy didn’t have a car. Her confession? “Christina – I can’t help it. I completely lost my attraction toward him. I felt like his mom picking him up for a date.”
It’s a huge turn off to a woman if she has to drive herself or drive you for a date. (Yes, I know it’s a double standard. We expect you to drive…always.) Women in their 30s expect men to own a car. We expect the man to own a nice car too.
Dating advice for men
- Get a car if you don’t own one.
- Upgrade your car if you are still driving the car you had in college or in your early 20s.
Shallow? Yes. But I’m being honest. I used to drive a beat up 2002 Honda Accord with 180K+ miles on it. But I swapped it out for a newer car when I turned 30. A woman will be upgrading her ride, and she’ll expect you to do the same.
Takeaway: Own a car, so you can pick a woman up for a date, if you don’t want to turn her off while dating.
2. You Have Roommates (Okay In Your 20s. Not Your 30s.)
I get it. Having a roommate can save hundreds of dollars a month. Most women (and men) have roommates in their 20s. I personally had roommates in my 20s. When I was younger, I dated men who had two or three roommates and thought nothing of it.
Real life dating story: When I turned 30, I went on a date with a man who had a roommate. He had a nice apartment in Midtown (a great part of Atlanta) and his place was well put together. In my 20s, I would have been turned on by his swanky high rise condo. But suddenly I found myself turned off by him. He had a roommate and it completely killed the mood.
Real life dating example of a man turning off a woman (#2): A friend of mine had a great third date with a guy. Great guy. Solid dude. Good job. Afterward, she admitted, “It’s just weird going to his house. I feel uncomfortable hooking up with him when he has roommates in the living room.”
Weird? Yes. Logical? Not at all. I know, but it is how we feel. Having roommates is a turn off for women.
Takeaway: Once you reach the age of 30, pay the extra money and get an apartment or condo of your own.
3. You Have Crappy Furniture
In your 20s, it’s perfectly acceptable (and expected!) to have used furniture. A leather couch with holes and scratches? No big deal. Worn out sheets from college? Who cares! Patio furniture that’s obviously been outside for 10+ years? It doesn’t matter.
But when a woman turns 30s, she expects a man to have nice furniture.
Dating advice for men to avoid turning off women
Upgrade your furniture if you have the same furniture that you had in college. Check out West Elm, Wayfair, Apt2B, and LexMod.
Unsure of what to get? Here are some suggestions.
- Coffee table: Simpli Home Hunter Solid Mango Wood or Emerald Home Coffee Table
- Couch: Kivik by Ikea, Rivet Brooke Leather couch on Amazon, or anything by West Elm
- Mattress: Casper Mattress or Amazon foam mattress
- Bed frame: Zinus in Dark Grey
4. Your Toilet Is Disgusting
Okay, so this tip is applicable for dating in your 20s too. You need to keep your toilet clean and you need to have plenty of toilet paper in your bathroom.
Personal dating story of a guy that turned me off: I went over to a friend’s place and he lived in an older house. It was relatively clean, but his bathroom was absolutely disgusting. The toilet was dirty, the floors in the bathroom hadn’t been cleaned in months, and the shower had water stains. I had previously considered him a friend that had potential as a boyfriend. After seeing his place, I completely lost interest.
Takeaway for men: If you need to, pay to have someone professionally clean your place every month. And don’t have a messy apartment either! A woman doesn’t want to be your mom when dating. That’s a huge turn off. Clean up after yourself.
Dating advice for men: Spending an extra 2 hours a week cleaning your place will be the difference between getting laid and having the woman walk away.
5. You Wear Clothes from High School (a Huge Turn Off!)
If you are wearing t-shirts from high school it is time to throw them out. Don’t be caught wearing a shirt from Abercrombie, Aeropostale, or Urban Outfitters. An unattractive outfit will turn off a woman. Stick to dark jeans and collared shirts in the winter and light-colored shorts and collared t-shirts in the summer. Great shirt brands include Hugo Boss, J Crew, Marine Layer, Banana Republic, and Calvin Klein.
Takeaway: Dress well. If you need inspiration on what to wear to a date, check out Dating Snippets on Pinterest for first date outfits for men and daytime and casual date outfits for men.
Dating advice for men: Your clothes need to fit well too. If you’ve gained weight, throw out the too-tight clothes. If you’ve lost weight, throw out those baggy jeans.
6. You Have No Food in Your Fridge
Women know that few men like to cook. We don’t expect you to have a lot of food in your fridge, but if we come over and all you have is frozen pizza and beer, we will think that you are living in your college fraternity days.
Takeaway: Stock your fridge with eggs, sliced turkey, and yogurt. Fill your freezer with healthy chicken patties and frozen vegetables. Want to turn on or impress a woman? Have crackers, cheese, and wine handy.
Summary of Top Turn Offs to a Woman (and More Tips!)
In summary, if you are a guy dating in your 30s, be aware of the top turn offs to women. Things that turn a woman off include 1) not having a car, 2) living with roommates, 3) having crappy furniture, 4) having a messy place, 5) wearing poor fitting clothes, and 6) having an empty fridge.
To learn how to act on a date, check out 10 Things Men Do That Turn Women Off and 12 Things That All Women Hat About Guys. To impress a woman, check out How to Impress a Girl on a First Date.
Here are a few more turn-offs to women (of all ages!)
- Bad breath. Brush your teeth daily and use floss.
- Some women love beards. Most women hate beards. To be safe, stick to a trimmed, short beard if you want facial hair.
- No deodorant. This one should be obvious, but wear deodorant. And not Axe! Axe screams teenage boy.
- Poor fitting clothes. Your clothes need to fit you well. If you need help, go to Nordstrom and pay the extra money to get a stylist help you out.
- No job. You need a job, and it needs to be more than a busboy or a bartender.
Have any dating questions? Send a message to @datingsnippets on Dating Snippets Facebook page.
Good luck dating!
- Dating Snippets