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How to Get Out of the Friend Zone with a Female Friend
How do you get out of the friend zone? It’s a crappy situation for you guys. And girls are really good at putting you guys in the friend zone. Believe me. I know. I’ve friend-zoned many guy friends, and I know many of them had feelings for me at one point of time.
Is it possible to get out of the friend zone? Absolutely. You just have to know the steps to get out of the friend zone.
Success story: I was friends with my neighbor, Eric, for four months before we were boyfriend-girlfriend. When I first met him, I thought he was just a cool guy. Over time, Eric and I hung out more and more. His affection for me increased. Eric pulled the right moves, and we went from friends to dating to boyfriend-girlfriend.
Read on for three ways to get out of the friend zone with a girl. At the end of the article I explain how to know if you have a chance of getting out of the friend zone.
Step 1: Have Fun Together and Hang Out Frequently
Step one to getting out of the friend zone is to make sure the girl sees you as an amazing friend. Make sure the times you spend with her are fun, positive experiences.
Here are clues that a girl is having fun with you, and that you have a chance to get out of the friend zone.
- Does she laugh when she’s with you?
- Does she like your friends?
- Does she say “yes” when you ask her out?
Question: How do you make sure the girl has fun?
Answer: Ask her out to do fun activities!! It could be asking her to go to a festival with you, going to a party with friends, or checking out a music concert together.
How Eric got out of the friend zone: Eric got out of the friend zone by asking me to do stuff, all the time. I had a blast every time I hung out with Eric.
Here’s what Eric did to win my heart over
- Invited me over for poker night with his friends
- Planned pool parties and invited me
- Asked me to go to a UF football game one weekend
- Invited me to for pre-games
- Asked me out to baseball games
- Invited me over to watch Modern Family at his place once a week
Key Tip: To Get out Of the Friend Zone, See the Girl Frequently
Women need momentum in a relationship. We are very much out-of-sight, out-of-mind human beings. You need to see us frequently if you want to keep our interest. Studies back this up. The more see someone, the more they like you. Aaron was my neighbor, so I saw him 3-5 times a week. To keep a girl interested, you need to see her at least once a week as a friend.
Step 2: Make the Woman Feel Taken Care Of
Women want to be taken care of and they want to feel special. If you want to get out of the friend zone, you need to step up your game and start acting like a gentlemen. This is what differentiates my guy friends from the guys I’ve seriously dating.
Here are actions you can take to make a girl feel special and go from guy-friend to boyfriend:
- Open the door for her when you hang out
- Pay for her coffee or lunch when you hang out
- Buy drinks when you go out
- Walk her to her car at the end of the night
- Text her to make sure she got home
- Ask her out to a soccer game and buy her ticket
- Fix something in her apartment
- Help her move
- Help her paint her bathroom
- Ask about her day when you see her, and genuinely listen!
Tip: Don’t use the line, “text me when you get home.” This is a half-assed line. The better move? Send the girl a text 30 minutes after you say your goodbyes. In your text, say: Did you get home alright? I had fun hanging out with you! Sweet dreams!
Here’s what Eric did to make me feel special and get out of the friend zone
- He bought my ticket when we went to baseball games or football games
- He surprised me one night, and paid for my dinner when we were out with a group of friends (this was a super sweet move, and made my heart melt)
- He drove when we went out
- He treated me to dinner on my birthday
- He invited me to get dinner with him and his family when they were in town
Step 3: Touch the Girl and Show Affection – SLOWLY!
One of my guy friends said it best: The difference between a friend and a boyfriend/girlfriend is whether you are having sex. You have sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend. You don’t have sex with a friend. Building chemistry and physical attraction is key to attracting a woman.
To get out of the friend zone, you need to slowly increase your affection for a girl.
DISCLAIMER: Proceed with steps 1-4 with caution. If you pull the moves too early on a girl, she may get turned off. If this happens, you completely lose any chance you have of getting out of the friend zone.
Steps to Slowly Increase Affection to Get Out of Friend Zone
Proceed with the steps below in order to increase chemistry with a girl.
Tip: You may be need to do steps a, b, and c for 1-3 months before moving on to steps d and e.
a) Hug her. When you see your female friend, give her a big hug. Girls love hugs.
b) Get close to her. When you are hanging out, find excuses to get close to her. Move slightly closer to her when you are on the couch. Sit a little bit closer to her when you are in the coffee shop.
c) Find excuses to touch her. Women need to be touched – a lot. Especially if their love language is touch. When you are talking and want to exaggerate a point, touch her on the arm.
d) Kiss her on the cheek. When you say goodbye, give her a hug and kiss her on the cheek.
e) Give her a back massage. If she’s had a rough day, give her a back massage. You can do this while you are sitting next to each other. If she says something like, “today was so stressful,” you can ask if she wants a back rub. Most women love a good massage. Google tips for giving a great massage. Believe me – we can tell when you suck at giving messages and when you are really, really good. 😉
Here’s what Eric did to ramp up the affection and get out of the friend zone: He completed steps a-e! Simple as that.
Word of Caution: Make Sure the Girl Likes You
Before moving to steps d and e – make sure your friend is into you.
Cues That a Female Friend is Interested In You
- She leans in toward you when you put your arm around her
- She extends the lengths of your hugs
- Her toes point toward you when you are in a group of friends (a person’s feet point toward the person they are most interested in)
Cues That a Girl Friend is NOT Interested In You
- She pulls away slightly when you lean in
- She takes a step back when you two are talking to each other
- Her hugs are quick
- She asks friends to come and join you guys when you ask her out
How To Get Out of the Friend Zone: Complete Steps 1-3
To get out of the friend zone, complete steps 1-3. Slowly, you’ll turn your friend into your girlfriend.
What Are My Chances of Getting Out of the Friend Zone with a Girl?
Sorry guys. Sometimes there is absolutely NO chance you’ll get out of the friend zone.
Here are some things that will make it nearly impossible for you to get out of the friend zone:
- You are overweight and she’s super fit and active. Sounds harsh, but true. I’ve seen exceptions for two of my close female friends, but most of my girlfriends have said something like, “He’s overweight. He’s such a great guy, I’m just not attracted to him.”
- You are socially awkward and she’s outgoing. If you lack social skills completely, be honest with yourself. Would you be better off with a girl that enjoys reading a lot, or who is into games like Dungeons and Dragons?
- You are an alcoholic or do lots of drugs. Most women have three deal-breakers for all men: no alcoholics, do drug addicts, and no verbally/physically abusive men. If you have one of these qualities, she won’t consider you.
- Your apartment/condo is disgusting. If she lives in a pretty, nice, clean apartment and your place reminds her of a fraternity house, she will be turned off.
- You don’t have a career and you don’t have any aspirations. It’s okay if you are a bartender who doesn’t have a college degree, and you have a plan in place for going back to school and getting a long-term career. If she has her shit together, and you are still figuring things out, she won’t consider you.
Have Questions on Getting Out of the Friend Zone?
Have tricky situations on how to get out of the friend zone with a girl? Send me a message and I’ll help you out, or I’ll write an article about it.