The One Thing Women Wish Men Did While Dating: Name a Time and Place

Guys: Women talk about dating. A LOT. We compare notes on dating experiences, and we compare notes on how you behave too. There’s one simple thing that very few men do. The said thing is that it is so, so simple. When you don’t do it, we get super irritated and annoyed. We complain to our girlfriends about you. When you DO do it, we praise you to our girlfriends and we get excited about our next date with you.

So what’s the one thing that so many men fail to do, that all women hate? It’s when you fail to give us a date and time for our date. Yes – you heard me right. It’s not the failure to call us. It’s not how much money you spend. It’s not related to your clothes or your job title. Just give us a time and a place for our date, and finalize the plans at least 1.5 days ahead of time. Do this move, and you are golden.

Why NOT Finalizing a Time and Place Sets Men Up for Failure

Below is a case study showing how not finalizing plans and how finalizing plans makes a huge difference in what we women think of you guys.

Case Study of a Dating Story with Sara and Henry

Background information: Sara met Henry at a bar. They danced. They made out. The chemistry was intense. Sara likes Henry, and Henry likes Sara.

Situation Where Henry Fails at Dating Sara

What Happened: Henry reached out to Sara on Thursday and asked Sara if she wanted to do something Saturday evening. She said yes!

Friday night: No text from Henry. Sara is getting annoyed. He should have reached out by now.
Saturday morning: Sara is getting worried. What’s going on with Henry?
Saturday 2pm: Sara is getting pissed off at Henry, and decides to text him at 4pm if she doesn’t hear from him.
Saturday at 4pm: Sara texts Henry, “Hey! What’s up! What time do you want to meet up?” Sara sounds cool via text, but she’s secretly annoyed. How come Henry doesn’t have his shit together?
Saturday at 5:30pm: Henry responds. “Hey! Just got up from a nap. How about 8:45pm dinner?”
Saturday at 5:45pm: Sara responds. “Hey! I guess that works…See you there at 8:45”

What Henry Did Wrong

Henry didn’t set a time and place for the date ahead of time. Did he do anything wrong? No, not really. But his lack of planning completely changed Sara’s thoughts about Henry. Instead of being excited about the date, Sara was thinking that Henry was going to flake out on her all afternoon. Sara was hoping to meet up with Henry at 7pm for dinner, and had actually declined drinks with girlfriends because she had a date with Henry. Now she’s resentful and regretting her decision to date Henry.

Tip: Check out tip #5 from this Men's Health post with more information on not having a plan and 15 dating mistakes you're probably making.

Dating Success Story Where Henry Sets a Time and Date for a First Date

What Henry Should Have Done

To really impress Sara, here’s what Henry should have done.

Wednesday at 6:30pm: Henry texts Sara. (Calling her is even better!) “Want to get dinner Saturday night”?
- Why this text response is good:
  - Sent 3 days in advance.
  - Specified the day (Saturday).
  - Specified the activity (dinner).
Wednesday at 6:45pm: Sara responds. “Yes, I’d love to!”
Wednesday at 7pm: Henry says, “How about 8:45pm at Beetlecat or Barcelona”?
- Why this text response is good:
  - Sent within 15 minutes of Sara’s text.
  - Specified the time (8:45pm).
  - Specified the place (restaurant).
  - Gave Sara the choice of two restaurants.
Thursday at 7:30pm: Sara says, “Let’s do Beetlecat. Looking forward to it!”
Thursday at 8:30pm: Henry says, “Awesome! Sounds good! Looking forward to see you! I’ll call to make reservations.”
- Why this text is good:
  - Sent within a reasonable timeframe.
  - Matched Sara’s energy by showing excitement too (exclamation points, and said that he wanted to see her too).
  - Confirmed that he would make reservations (shows he is on top of it, and can plan things.)
Saturday morning: Henry texts, “Good morning! Still on for dinner at 8:45pm tonight?”
Saturday at 12pm: Sara responds, “Yep!”
Saturday at 2pm: Henry says, “Awesome! Want me to pick you up?”
Saturday at 2:30pm: Sara says, “That’s so sweet of you! That’s okay – I’ll Uber and see you there!!”

As you can see from this second interaction, Sara is actually excited about the date with Henry. Because Henry made definitive plans, Sara respects Henry. Henry seems on top of it, and this quality is very attractive to women. Henry’s got his shit together. He makes plans, and he follows through. So many men fail to make plans. If you make plans and follow through, you will separate yourself from most men out there.

Dating Reality: Most Men Fail at Dating Because They Don’t Know Women’s #1 Wish

Wonder how this interaction plays out in real life? Sara will hesitantly put up with Henry’s lack of planning – for a little bit. After all, the chemistry was intense and she likes him. Sara will go on one or two more dates, and then she’ll end it. Guys: When you don't set a definitive date and time for a date, you are failing at dating.

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