You’ve talked to the girl, either in person or online, and now it’s time to arrange the first date. Your weekends are busy, which leaves you with Monday through Friday. You work until 7pm, so the date has to be after 7:30pm. So that basically leaves you with two options for a first date: dinner – or drinks? “I have to eat,” you think. “Should I get dinner with this girl as a first date? Will she even want to get dinner? Is dinner on a first date a bad idea? Should I do dinner or drinks for a first date?
When did dating get so complicated!?
Guys – I’ll help you out. Here’s how to decide whether to ask a woman out for dinner or drinks as a first date.
- If you want to get dinner with a woman, ask her out to dinner. Some women don’t like dinner dates as a first date, so give her an option. Ask, “Do you want to get dinner or drinks?” This way, if she doesn’t want to get dinner, she’ll suggest drinks.
- If you want to get drinks with a woman, ask her out for drinks.
Jump ahead to:
Do Women Prefer Dinner or Drinks for a First Date?
Let’s say you want to impress the woman. In this case, do you suggest dinner or drinks?
I’ll share a secret with you: Most of women prefer drinks as a first date. If you do drinks at 6:30pm and things go really well, you can extend the first date to dinner. If things aren’t going well, you can end the drinks date after an hour.
Tip: Try to avoid doing drinks as a first date at 7pm. 7pm is dinnertime for most women. Go for drinks at 6:30pm or earlier, or after 8pm if you want to avoid dinner for a first date altogether.
To stand out on a first date, avoid drinks.
Women get asked out for drinks all the time. After a while it gets repetitive.
If you want to stand out, ask the woman out for dinner. It’s a bold move. It shows you are a grown up, classy man. It shows you take dating seriously. It shows you have high confidence. It also helps differentiate you from the average Joe’s out there.
You Met the Girl Online – Is Dinner a Good Idea?
Let’s say you want to stand out, but you met the girl online. Is dinner a bad idea for a first date?
If you feel comfortable carrying on a conversation, go ahead and do a dinner date. If not, stick with drinks. You can stand out during a date by arriving early, complimenting how the woman looks, picking up the check, and walking the girl to her car.
Generally, I’d recommend drinks as a first date if you met online. Do dinner or an activity as second date.
The Woman Wants to Do Dinner. Is a dinner first date too much?
What if you suggest drinks, and the woman suggests dinner? Or what if she straight-out suggests dinner for a first date?
Then she is one confident woman! (LOL) I have a female friend that does almost nothing but dinner dates. She likes to go out to eat, and she finds plenty of men who are more than happy to treat her to dinner. She is also very sociable, and can carry on a conversation with anyone.
If a woman suggests dinner, I’d recommend you go ahead and do dinner if you like the woman. Don’t worry about a woman dating you for a free meal. None of my friends go after guys to get a free meal. We all have plenty of money. If we wanted to go to a fancy restaurant to eat, we could easily do that with our friends…and then we wouldn’t have to dress up as much or worry about making conversation with a potentially dull guy.
If a woman suggests dinner, she’s likely not trying to get a free meal out of you. She probably just likes dinner, or doesn’t drink.
I Don’t Drink, but I Also Don’t Want to Do Dinner. Should I Do Drinks for a First Date?
If you don’t want to get a drink and you don’t want to do dinner, please, please, please don’t be one of those idiots who asks as girl to get drinks. Believe me – it’s happened to both me and my girlfriends. After the date, we think, “What was wrong with that guy? He asked me to get a drink, and then just ordered water!”
If you don’t drink, ask a woman out for coffee as a first date. Or ask her out for lunch. Both options are relatively “quick” dates that will last less than 2 hours.
The Dinner Date is Horrible. What Do I Do?
What if you do move forward with the dinner date, and you aren’t into the woman. So what?! Dating is a learning experience. Some dates are good. Some dates are bad. You can laugh about it after the date.
If you aren’t into the woman as dating material, that’s okay. Find something you’d like to learn more about. Has she travelled a lot? Does she have a weird hobby that she does on Thursday nights? Does she have an IT job with a weird coworker? Does she have suggestions on a birthday present for your sister? Find something interesting about her, and use that to keep the conversation going.
If the date is absolutely horrible, it’s not the end of the world. After dinner, ask the waiter for the check and pay promptly.
Note: Even if you aren’t into your dinner date, you should pay if you asked her out.
In my experience, every dinner date – even the good dinner dates with great conversation, rarely last longer than two hours. So if you are stuck in a horrible dinner date, comfort yourself with the fact that you’ll be done in two hours.
After the date, take a second look at the woman’s profile. Try to figure out if there was something that you could have asked her prior to the date that would have prevented you from getting into a bad dinner date to begin with.
Have a Funny Dinner Story? I’d Love to Hear It!
I’ve never had a really bad dinner date. (So grateful!) All of my dinner dates have been quite pleasant and nice. One date was a bit painful, but I learned from the experience. Nice guy – just realized that I’m matching a Northern, California girl with a Southern, South Carolina boy is probably not the best of ideas.
Let me know your dinner date stories. I’d love to hear it!